Black Friday Sucks

You might be groaning.

An opinion piece? On a sneaker website? “I didn’t come here for opinions, I came here to read about sneakers”. Well that’s just great. Sneakers and sneaker-related topics (which this kind of is, in a funny way) are going to be 95% of what goes on here. However, occasionally there’s an issue that needs to be written about. Much like the Bar Louie piece I wrote this July, I feel like writing about something that “really grinds my gears” as Peter Griffin might say.

The subject of my ire today is Black Friday, or “Black Thursday” as we might as well call it. Yes, Black Friday. We’re exactly one week away, and I’m already starting to dread it. As anyone who’s ever worked in retail can tell you, Black Friday sucks. And it doesn’t suck a little bit, it really sucks. I’m talking something that sucks worse than getting home from McDonalds and opening your 6-piece nuggets that you ordered to find only 5 nuggets.

Opening at 6 AM Friday isn’t that bad. Hell, opening at midnight isn’t really all that bad either. But when big corporations like Wal-Mart are open almost all day Thanksgiving Day, that crosses the line. Unchecked corporate greed apparently knows no bounds.

Only in America would you have a day that you spend with your family, sharing a meal and good vibes, and being thankful for all the great things you already have, and then turn around the very next day (or even the same day) and run around like a chicken with your head cut off trying to get deals.

Retail workers are people too, and they deserve to spend Thanksgiving day stuffing their faces with turkey, laughing with their loved ones, and watching football like the vast majority of the country is doing. “Well, EMT’s and cops work every holiday” some might say. Yeah, that’s true, but there’s a difference. They provide essential services. Retail workers provide something that you want, not something that you need, no matter how badly you think you need that new 80 inch Sony for $1,000 off of retail price.

Think about it. It really brings out the worst in a lot of people. In their hurry to get deals, they forget what the season is all about.

So my plea to you this upcoming Black Friday is as follows: Go out and get some deals. Shop with your family. But please, for the love of Based God, don’t set foot in a store a goddamn second before midnight. Spend Thanksgiving giving thanks for what you have, like you’re supposed to be. As soon as midnight hits, go have fun with your friends and family and get some deals. But no earlier.


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